Let’s not forget about the pretzels March 16, 2010
Posted by Earthdragonette in Julie Gets Philosophical, Lessons Learned, Taking Initiative.Tags: adjustments, cinnamon rolls, clemente, hannah montana, hermione, Japan, Mary Sunshine, pretzels, running, The Child, winter term
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First things first:
The Official Osaka Countdown Clock puts us at 9 days or about 225 hours away from the much-anticipated okonomiyaki lunch in Namba! I would start packing, but I’m afraid I have plans to use those clothes before my departure. Alas. -_-;;
Moving on to a more reflective tone, I think that we can safely say that Tuesday was more upbeat and productive than Monday was (although I did not make bread today). I managed to get a significant amount of work done, and then I’ve also narrowed down my Weekend Cooking Project to either cinnamon rolls or soft pretzels. The cinnamon rolls are slightly tricky, because I’m technically observing Lent right now and all chocolate and pastries are off-limits until April 4th.
Although I could, theoretically, invoke the more forgiving interpretation of this pre-Easter trial and break Lent on Sunday to indulge in cinnamon goodness, I’m not sure that this idea is wise. I’m presently leaning towards the pretzels because I could make a lot of them on Monday and give them out to my schools next week. This makes Sunday a little more bearable, because it’s already going to be taken up with making lamb stock, crafting the Soup of the Week, and baking bread.
Anyway, this is more or less my inner cooking monologue, and all that really matters in the great scheme of This Blog is that I spent a little bit of time today researching my cooking options.
As far as memories go,Tuesday was interesting. Tuesday was the day that I took the initiative to seek out new interactions with my students that will, in time, develop into next year’s routine. Of course, the seeds of this routine have already been planted. After all, we’re already familiar with many of the characters I goofed around with today (Hannah Montana, Hermione, Clemente, The Child). Still, the times that I choose to linger around my students and the places that I choose to do this lingering – those are different now, and we’re all making adjustments.
I’m not sure how to qualify the exact memory I’m taking with me. It was … vivid. Vivid and …. alive.
I’ve mentioned before that I enjoy running and that I’ve finally started to get back into a running regimen after my winter break. Last year, when I went running during the spring, I always left work at 4:15 so that I could run around my village before it got dark.
Today, though, I felt like doing something different. Instead of leaving work at 4:15, I changed into my running clothes, grabbed my iPod, and settled for doing large laps around the school for about forty minutes. I wasn’t sure how the other teachers or the students would react, but I didn’t think that they would be against me getting a little exercise.
It turns out that everyone was incredibly enthusiastic about it. The principal praised me for healthy initiatives, thus removing any potential administrative barriers to my jogging. Additionally (but most importantly), my students mobbed me before they left school for the day. They were mostly interested in what I was listening to on my iPod, but they were also curious about the running itself. I often forget that my students are very physical beings (they can’t help it with all of the time they dedicate to their clubs), and one of the quickest ways to spark their interest and garner respect is to show them that I have some kind of physical skills; I do not spend all of my time making lesson plans, speaking English, and learning Japanese.
Incidentally, the other quickest way to spark their interest is to give them food. But, I can’t exactly do that every day.
I nearly forgot to mention – I did chance to see Mary Sunshine briefly after school. She came by to see her home room teacher and ask him a few questions, so I took the opportunity to say hello and lament about the tattered shreds of my lonely ALT heart. We caught up for a bit before I took my leave to start the aforementioned exercise.
It’s as I said before, though. I’m still suffering the pangs of Empty Nest Syndrome, but I’m recovering – just as my former-third years are. I don’t want to go so far as to say that Time is a Great Healer, but I will say that Time, if viewed with the correct perspective, creates opportunities to make changed circumstances into something new and interesting. I still have a lot of things to do – projects that await completion, odd ideas that deserve to see the light of day, and students to charm and/or bully into doing their homework.
And let’s not forget about those pretzels and cinnamon rolls.
If I could make these moments endless
3.14 = Pi Day! March 14, 2010
Posted by Earthdragonette in Apologies, Japanese GET, Julie Gets Philosophical, Time to Party.Tags: elementary school, party, Rocko, running, the first years, the hippie, The Japanese Best Friend, veal stock, winter term
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It would seem that if I am consistent about anything, I am consistent about Having Good Intentions. We seem to have the “Early-Week-Blogging” routine secured, it’s just that “Hump-Day-Going-Into-The-Weekend” portion that continues to elude us. I blame it on Thursday. And Bad Luck. Between Chaos and Illness, Thursday night has started to become that “required Night of Comfort Food and Great Movies.” Last week featured spicy chicken with rice soup and Wayne’s World. It did not feature an update about how much I love the vice principal at Thursday’s elementary school.
Okay, so, pulling away from my errant nature, let’s regroup, focus, and do what needs to be done. We have memories – actual, honest to goodness memories – to peruse. And I must say it’s about time.
Thursday: I love the vice principal at Thursday’s elementary school
…because he was extremely generous and let me go home after lunch to finish recuperating from my cold.
In addition to this love, though, Thursday was special for me because I had a class with The First Years. It was our last class of the year, and things went particularly well. Their home room teacher was back with us (The Hippie), and so they were a lot more manageable this time around (she was absent for the last class and so we were all feeling a bit feisty and difficult). To put it plainly, on Thursday The First Years did everything that makes me adore them as much as I do. They were rabidly curious about all elements of the lesson, they were enthusiastic, when they made mistakes they were comically horrified, and they danced the macarena like nobody’s business.
I’m not sure if I’ll have a class with them next year or not (I haven’t been informed of any decisions to that effect), so it’s still up in the air as to whether or not that was my last class with them. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Friday: Sticker Please
At Friday’s elementary school, the 12th was the last day for students to earn and/or redeem stickers for this year’s sticker card. Demonstrating that the art of procrastination transcends all borders, races, and religions, the students waited until the last possible moment to crowd around me, grubby and well-loved sticker cards in hand, so that they could get the prizes that they finally chose to covet. Some students were so desperate to finish their cards that they spent the entire day stalking me between classes and writing me letters. It was perhaps not the most graceful end to this year’s Achievement Card program, but I suspect that things worked out for the best. The process was chaotic and enthusiastic, but generally positive. I didn’t have to deal with more than a few bad attitudes or similar points of conflict.
What really made this day for me, though, was that the teachers were incredibly kind, gracious, and helpful. Also, they invited me to have lunch with them next Friday after the graduation ceremony. If this by any chance involves leaving the school to eat at, say, a restaurant, then it will be the first time that an elementary school has ever extended a social invitation to me. That’s enough of an achievement to leave me feeling accomplished for at least the next two or three weeks. ~_^
Saturday: I Was a Social Hermit
The “hermit” part happened in the morning, and then the “social” in the evening. Friday evening found me the happy recipient of my lamb and veal bones, so I spent Saturday morning making a veal stock for Sunday’s soup. (I’ll post the recipe later.) I also cleaned and spent a significant amount of time chatting with my father and Jyona33, so it was most certainly a productive time.
In the afternoon, I drove out to The Japanese Best Friend’s house where we had a Sayonara Party for Rocko, who will be returning to the States on the first of April. It was a nice party, with good food and good company. The Japanese Best Friend’s husband was particularly engaging and hilarious, so we all laughed a lot. I’ll be honest, though, and say that my favorite part of the evening was the rest period right before we finished cooking and the guests arrived. Sitting down with her to talk and drink green tea is probably one of my most favorite things to do.
Sunday: Running skills – I still have them
As you may have surmised, I haven’t been running a lot over the last few months. The weather hasn’t really cooperated with me and it’s been getting dark so early that I can’t see anything by the time that I get home from work. With spring having finally, well, sprung, the time has come to dust off the running shoes and get back to work.
It was funny, because I went outside with the idea that I would just take a half-hour walk, but before I knew it, I’d started to jog. I was able to do one of my 4k runs without any problems, and so I don’t think it will take me that long to get back to 5k.
As I was running, I realized a few things that were important, and that brought a lot of the day into focus for me.The first was that I don’t have any real desire to run extensive marathons. I think that if I can get to the point where I can easily and consistently run 5k a few times a week, I’ll be content with myself. It’s nice to have a significant, yet not overwhelmingly challenging goal.
Having decided upon this, I also realized that my village is gorgeous. I think this is something that I forget about during winter but then suddenly rediscover every spring. With the plum blossoms in bloom and the cherry blossoms just on the horizon, the world around me is clearly waking up and stretching its wings. Being outside, I felt that same sensation inside of me. This feeling only grew stronger as I ran up and down the mountain hills, past the rice fields, past the Wisdom Shrine, across the old bridges that drape over the Ouchiyama river, and down old, moss-covered streets.
The air in my village changes significantly with the seasons. In summer it’s heavy and damp, and it smells strongly of grass and old wood. In the fall, the smoke from garbage fires and stoves is almost spicy, and it slices through the chill. Winter is disturbing because there aren’t many smells in the air – it’s as if everything really has frozen in time. It’s as if we’re all holding our breath.
But spring, though. In spring, the gardens are freshly plowed, the flowers are vibrant and sweet, and people have opened their windows and doors, welcoming spring and mixing the smells of the inside and outside worlds. It’s a time where we all exhale and savor every breath after.
Never giving in
Until we find the words to say
Super Express 土日曜日 Recap – September 6th September 6, 2009
Posted by Earthdragonette in Weekend Recap.Tags: beach, cooking, dinner party, fall term, Japan, relaxing, Rocko, running, the Other ALT, Weekend Recap
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As I write this, it’s still Sunday in the States, but it’s Monday morning here in the land of the rising sun. Which means that I have about 21 minutes to post this before I have to run and get ready for work. I intended to post last night, but then I was distracted by coffee with Bailey’s Irish Cream and The Emperor’s New Groove. The combination proved to be too much for the Form of Productivity and instead I blissfully sought the arms of Morpheus around, oh, 8:45.
So, very quickly, Saturday and Sunday’s Reasons to Be Happy and Grateful
Saturday (土曜日)
Friends and Food, Friends and Food!
I had my first dinner party on Saturday, and at the risk of sounding less than modest, I do believe it went well! This was largely due to the helpful and calming nature of my friends, who not only willingly cut up vegetables, boiled noodles, and entertained each other while the food cooked, but also made sure that my wine glass was filled and that I didn’t take myself too seriously. The Other ALT gets bonus points for letting me borrow her table, her oven, her silverware, her cups, her dishtowels, and her patience. Rocko loses points for calling me a dork because I made a (BEAUTIFUL and BILINGUAL) menu highlighting the evening’s dishes. Although, I guess we can give him points because he was the primary one cutting up vegetables and keeping my wine glass full. Jyona33, although not physically present, was responsible for introducing me to the three guests that really made the party for me, so he gets Causality Points.
Mathematically, this works out to be something like:
4 hours of cleaning + 3 hours of cooking + 17 text messages + 9 phone calls + 2 Dishes I’d Never Made Before but Thank God They Were Delicious Anyway + 9 Awesome Guests + 5 courses + 5 hours of dinner party = 1 Amazing Night and An Infinite Number of Unforgettable Moments and Memories
We will be doing this again very, very soon. Although the theme is probably going to be less Italian and more Japanese. Let’s expand those Cultural Horizons!
Sunday (日曜日)
This was … Return to the Beach Day!! I woke up and felt less than productive (a good theme for a Sunday, I believe), and opted to take myself down to the Happy Place for a little while. It was super warm and sunny, and although the beach was eerily abandoned (with only, like, two families and the concessions stand completely shut down for the season), I had my iPod, some Japanese comics, and a feeling of accomplishment to keep me company. There was also a 6 km run in the evening that made me quite pleased with my lot. Then there was Baileys and a movie, so I do believe that I finished my weekend in a state of beatitude.
Now, I just need to make it through the next six days of work …
“City lights are calling
Slowly coming back to life
Speeding in the fast lane”
A farewell to summer… August 31, 2009
Posted by Earthdragonette in Top Ten.Tags: baseball, beach, Characters, enkai, ice cream, Japan, Jyona33, last, Mary Sunshine, PoEM, Rocko, running, summer, table tennis, teachers, The Awesome Vice Principal, The Savant, Two Terrific Teachers
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Aaand, we’ve hit a benchmark in this blog. My first missed post!
Admittedly, when I started out writing this blog, I didn’t expect to be able to post every single day, but I did hope to come close. Unfortunately, illness happens, and I was curled up in bed on Sunday night, hoping for those oh, so sweet arms of Morpheus. Morpheus though, is a jealous companion, and he doesn’t like me blogging when he comes to visit. I tried to catch up this morning (when it was still technically Sunday in the United States), but my Muses are fickle and they prefer coming out to play in the evening.
So, Jealous Morpheus + Moody Muses = No 土日曜日 Recap.
And yet, because I didn’t go into work today, the sense of weekend has continued. I could go ahead and write about Saturday-Monday’s poignant memories, but I think I want to do something a little different. This is the last “last day of summer vacation” that I’m going to have in Japan, and I feel that this merits a special post.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you:
Julie’s Top 10 Moments of the Summer
10) Dinner with teachers from the Old Middle School
From the August 9th post.
This really was a spectacular dinner. I was sad that we didn’t have a chance to go out for karaoke, but it was still amazing. I miss working with these teachers, and having a chance to catch up with them, remember old times, talk about new developments, and listen to The PoEM is a special memory from this summer.
9) Stalking Supporting my middle school’s baseball team
I don’t think that I really wrote specifically about this (some of it happened before I started the blog), but I spent a lot of time this summer watching my middle school guys’ baseball practices, practice games, and real games. They lost the district championships early on in the season (I felt really bad for The Savant because he was the team captain and took it really hard), but the first and second years trained really hard for the rest of the summer. I’m looking forward to seeing how they develop as a team – especially after they get new members next spring!
8) Running
I actually started running around February of 2007, but I was only able to keep it up through last October. After that, the days got really short, my schedule got hectic, and I got shin splints. This summer, however, I really started to miss it, and after buying the proper footwear, I hit the pavement again. I’m glad I did – I think I function better with my daily dose of Zen.
7) Fish festival!
From the August 23rd post.
This was just fun. I mean, the fish was delicious, my elementary students were cute, the families were nice, the onigiri was fresh, and the ice cream was divine. I got to be a team player and enjoy a picnic. Really, what more could one ask for?
6) Eating that stupid fish eye
From the August 18th post.
I can’t in good conscience put this in my Top 5, because it was gross. To date, I still have not eaten the following: grapes, blueberries, olives, or corn. Still, it’s a badge of honor that I will proudly wear. (EWWWW.)
5) The Trip to Toba (aside from eating the fish eye)
This trip happened before the blog, but I did write about it in the August 18thpost. I appreciated the isolated-third-worldish-we-actually-WAIT-THREE-HOURS-for-a-boat feeling. I liked walking around the island with the Two Terrific Teachers, and I especially enjoyed the dessert that The Awesome Vice Principal got for me. Actually, I loved anything having to do with my middle school teachers this summer. We had a great time together.
4) Hiking the Kumano Kodo with Rocko
Described in the 土日曜日 Recap from August 16th/17th.
I like Rocko, and I like the Kumano Kodo, so this was pretty much solid win all around. Discussing philosophy and 90’s television shows while wandering around an ancient forest road to the top of a mountain is a great way to spend one’s morning. This was then followed by The Beach, and we all know how I feel about that.
3) Spending time with Mary Sunshine prior to the All Country Table Tennis Tournament
Anything involving Mary Sunshine has to make my Top 3. She is The Favorite after all. I think that we had some great conversations this summer, and I liked being able to share even a small part of her training and anticipation. She didn’t place very high at the nationals, but she told me that she learned a lot and that she’s even more determined to keep it up. She has some tournaments scheduled for the fall, and I can’t wait to see how she does.
2) The Beach!!
From the August 8th, August 9th, August 12th, August … you get the idea.
Sun, sand, water, an iPod, and delicious Japanese food. It’s no wonder that I went, like, fifteen times.
1) A visit from Jyona33
This was something else that happened before I started writing this blog. It also involves a character that you have not yet met. I give you:
Jyona33
This was an ALT in a nearby town a couple of years ago. We met when he was a second year ALT and I was just in my first year. Although our initial exchanges were awkward, our friendship soon bloomed and now he is one of The Best Friends.* He’s back in the States now, but we talk often and he schools me on All Things Japanese and the General Direction My Life Should Take. He’s a funny person.
Anyway, Jyona33 has been out of the country for awhile, and he came back to visit for about two weeks in mid-July. He stayed with me for the better part of a week and we had a rather fantastic time exploring our towns and just talking. I got to meet some new people, see some new places, and just enjoy the frequent use of the English language outside of the telephone conversations I have with people back home. I think that his visit really marked the beginning of the summer for me, and it set the tone for the rest of it.
So there we have it. 6 weeks. 10 memories. As far as I know, my last summer in Japan is at an end. I’m a little sad – it’s bittersweet, after all. Still, there are a lot of things on the horizon and I’m looking forward to seeing where this is all going to go.
*I would go further and refer to him as the wind beneath my wings, but that would embarrass him. Assuming he ever actually reads this blog as he’s been promising to do for weeks.
“Mysteria – the spirit arising
Eldritch cries from the hill
Mysteria – the fires are blazing”
There is a season – turn, turn, turn August 28, 2009
Posted by Earthdragonette in Julie Gets Philosophical.Tags: elementary, fall, growth, Japan, pride, running, summer, The Awesome Vice Principal, The Stdent Government President, Two Terrific Teachers
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Looking back at the conditions of the staff room on Monday, and then seeing how things were today (and how busy I was today), there really isn’t much room for comparison. On Monday we had, what, four teachers total and two clubs practicing? Today not only was everyone in residence,* but we also had students tumbling through the staff room every four and a half minutes on average. I do believe that they came for the purposes of asking us all of the questions in the known universe.**
I was happy, though. Seeing all of the staff and more of the students back in the school was wonderful. Don’t mistake me on this – I loved the summer laziness and how relaxed everything was. At the same time, a school is meant to have people in it. The sewing room is meant to have Sports Festival flags being made in it; the gym is meant to have three clubs practicing inside of it. Now that things are getting back to normal, I realize how empty the school really was. As much as I fear the second term and its inevitable chaos, I’m also looking forward to it.
Aaaaand, it’s once again time for me to break that Fourth Wall of Blogging.
I’ve been writing for the last half hour, but I’m finding it difficult to articulate the way that I feel about the day. It’s not that I don’t know how I feel, but rather that the specific memory that I chose to write about just isn’t covering all of the things that are going through my mind. Although that memory is a part of what got me to where I am at the moment, it’s not all of it. So, what I’m going to do is start over, and highlight several moments from the day. I hope that if I can do that, then I can draw this all together at the end.
~ This morning, I had the chance to chat with The Student Government President. I haven’t seen her since the beginning of the summer, and we spent some time catching up. She told me about going to Tokyo with her family, and supplemented her story with commentary about what the Tokyo Japanese were like (Not Nice) and how expensive the shopping was (Very). I enjoyed this conversation. We spoke very fluidly with each other and there was a natural sense of camaraderie. She told me that she’d even bought a souvenir for me and she’s bring it to school tomorrow.
~ Also this morning, while I was reading over The Mentor’s report for the four hundred and thirty-seventh time, The Awesome Vice Principal asked me if I wanted to go home in the afternoon because all of the teachers would be going to a district-wide meeting. When I’d informed him that I also intended to go to this meeting, he was extremely pleased. I like getting approval from him – not only does it bode well for my general happiness at the school, but I will probably get rewarded down the road with another special dessert. \(^o^)/***
~ The afternoon was dedicated to said meeting. To be honest, I was a little frustrated because for some reason unknown to me, The Mentor decided not to show. I was really looking forward to hearing him present his report (because I thought it was the best out of the stack) and also to hearing what the other teachers would say in response.
Essentially, his report discusses the general difficulties that elementary English education is facing, and it proposes some initial, yet critical measures to try and establish a sense of balance and equilibrium to the system. Since he did not attend, however, his report was not read, nor was it discussed. Without his report, the conversation didn’t even begin to entertain the kind of thinking that he was advocating. In addition, without him there to share his opinions about elementary English education, it’s still anyone’s guess as to what’s going on inside of his super mysterious brain.
Sigh. Here’s to relying on my latent mind reading powers to get through the next two terms with successful elementary lessons.
~ Still, despite The Mentor’s absence, the meeting was really interesting for me. Spending two days translating and studying TM’s report did wonders for my vocabulary and I was able to follow the conversations. My speaking wasn’t quite as commendable, but I did manage to convey my opinions. At the very least, I think that I gave the other teachers a few things to think about.
So, here we have our highlights from the day.
I think that when I put them all together I become aware of how the summer is drawing to a close, but how this time of year is not only marked by an ending. There is also this incredible sense of the future – the crisper weather, the shift of produce in the supermarket, the fact that The Supervisor finally finished making my second term schedule…
Progression – that’s the word I’m looking for. I feel it – quite keenly as a matter of fact. I feel this grand, sweeping motion away from the summer, despite me wanting to hold on to it (and my days upon days at the beach). Furthermore, wherever it is that I’m going, it’s not where I was last month. The characters in my life may be more or less the same, the locations may be the same, but this time around I feel a difference. At the risk of sounding a little self absorbed or proud, I want to say that I’ve grown this summer.
I say this not in the sense of “I have grown through my many flawlessly executed accomplishments.” What I mean is that this summer I believe that I’ve built something – something solid, something meaningful. I have so many memories that were created with the people around me, and I know that they have brought us closer. (I do believe that The Awesome Vice Principal and I are going to be super BFF for the rest of my time in Japan.) I’ve learned more about The Two Terrific Teachers, I’ve reconnected with My Japanese Sister and The Japanese Best Friend. My teachers and I watched baseball and ate fish eyes together. I’ve cultivated a friendship with Rocko, seen the third-worldesque side of Japan at Kamijima Island, climbed a couple of mountains, fried myself received bountiful amounts of vitamin D from frequent sojourns to the beach, and increased my Japanese ability.
I think that the time has come for the wave of summer to drop me back on to land now. But, this time around, I don’t think it’s going to deposit me at sea level. After this summer and the way that I’ve bonded with my community and pushed myself, I think that the chances are very good that I’m going to land on a high plateau.
There will, of course, still be a mountain on the horizon for me to climb. There always is. Still, with the cliffs at my back, with the red and orange leaved trees lining the path in front of me, I think I’m ready to run.
*I had to phrase it like that. I enjoy the image of all the teachers having their own personal banners to display in front of the teacher’s room whenever they’re at school. Some people would say that this is a product of my overactive imagination. Some people would be correct.
**No, really. I heard everything from, “Can the student government borrow four boxes of gray markers?” to “Can you take this splinter out?” I suspect queries pertaining to the meaning of life might also have been put forth, but by then I was listening to iTunes with my earphones and so I missed the answer. Drat.
***Speaking of food, when The Awesome Vice Principal went around yesterday and handed out all of the souvenir-food that the teachers had purchased while on vacation and brought into the school, I totally got extra. Yay! 3 P.M. snacks for the next two weeks!
“Make your day and dream away on a dragonfly.”
Stop, look, and listen August 17, 2009
Posted by Earthdragonette in Lessons Learned.Tags: Japan, Kitten-like Tea Lady, old middle school, running, summer, The Japanese Best Friend
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If someone were to ask me:
“What’s the most important lesson that you’ve learned in Japan?”
I would answer with:
“Wow. Thank you for asking me one of the most difficult questions you could possibly have asked. That’s right up there with, ‘Use of the atomic bomb in WWII: good idea or bad idea?’ “
I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again: I learn new things every day. There is no exception to this statement – I could list at least ten things that I discovered today that I didn’t know yesterday. Don’t believe me? Here we go:
1. Regarding the lyrics to Edguy’s Save Me: Most websites do not have the correct lyrics posted. It’s very frustrating.
2. The days are starting to get colder – I ran 5km at 6 this morning without any heat or humidity issues.
3. Taking a road that passes by Taki train station gets me to Meiwa about ten minutes sooner than the old route that I used to use.
4. The bottle of sauce that I thought was curry sauce in fact wasn’t.
5. The Japanese Best Friend isn’t sure what it was either. But, we both agree that it was delicious.
6. Teachers in my prefecture can get discount tickets to the Prefectural Performing Arts Center
7. If you sit still for a long time in the ocean, the fish really will come up and investigate your feet.
8. Most of the Japanese tourists have left the countryside, leaving the beach relatively unpopulated and very peaceful.
9. Japan is going to hold elections on the 30th, and candidates will be giving speeches on night of the 25th.
10. Apple and banana smoothies are easy to make and delicious.
See? And these are only my egocentric moments of epiphany - don’t even get me started on the Secrets of the Universe that I uncovered today. (They do not involve the number 42.)
Still, if my hypothetical interviewer were to press the question, one possible answer I could give is: “I’ve learned that everyone has a personal story just as rich, just as long, and just as vital as my own.”
This it not a lesson that is easy for me. It isn’t a lesson that I have heard about, intuitively understood, taken to heart, and merged with my subconscious so that I have been transformed into a being of neverending tolerance and goodwill. It’s something that I know in my heart to be true, and that I try to bring to the table whenever I play with others. Sometimes, though, I forget. I forget, or I get distracted, or maybe I just feel snarky. Today’s memory was another gentle nudge from The Universe and Its Forces of Irony. It’s also not exactly something that I really desire to remember. Rather, it’s something that I feel is my responsibility to remember – it’s something my life gave me and I have to make it a part of who I am.
I mentioned above that I went running this morning. It was an exceptionally lovely run, and the weather really was great for it. I also have a new running mix on my iPod and I sincerely enjoyed having that in the background. As I was cooling down, I passed by a local elementary school and saw a truck pull into the parking lot. Inside of the truck was a woman that I used to work with at one of my middle schools. Even though we weren’t close, I’ll go ahead and introduce her as character. It’s the least that I can do.
The Kitten-like Tea Lady
Each school in Japan has a (usually older) woman assigned to it as, well, the Tea Lady. They’re responsible for (you guessed it) making the tea for the teachers in the morning, and keeping everyone’s glasses full throughout the day. They also prepare other drinks and, occasionally food, for the teachers and school visitors. In addition to tea and food, they have responsibilities around the school – the keep the gardens trim, wash towels, keep the cleaning supplies stocked, and set up for the school lunch. This lady worked at my middle school that closed – I was only with her for about a year. She was very quiet, and very sweet. Her face reminded me of a small cat, and she always had very skittish, kitten-like mannerisms.
So, I ran into The Kitten-like Tea Lady by the elemetary school. As she pulled closer to me in her truck, I saw that her hairstyle had changed dramatically - from my perspective, it looked like a buzz cut.
Remember what I said before? About how my brain is very obtuse for the first 30 seconds when it encounters something devastatingly upsetting? Today was no exception. For the first few moments, all I could think of was: “What a great idea! It is really hot these days! Way to go, Tea Lady – no more overheating for you! Ladies unite – let’s ALL shave our heads!”
About three seconds later, the more realistic and infinitely more intelligent inner voice came in with, “No, Julie. That hairstyle would not be a personal choice for the sake of comfort. That would be cancer.”
Of course, this didn’t keep me from asking her the standard greeting of, “O genki desu ka?” (Are you fine?)
Luckily, she was quicker and more on the uptake than I was, as she sort of chuckled and answered back, “Genki janai, yo!” (No, I’m not fine!)
And then, the expected conversation took place. She has breast cancer, the tumor was about 3cm long but now it’s down to 2. She’s feeling okay right now, but eating has been difficult and she can’t handle eel. She wanted to go to the dinner that we had last week, but she was embarassed to because of her hair. She has three more treatments left before the end of the year and she’s hoping for the best, but she’s scared. I told her that she should come to the winter dinner, and she told me she was afraid about not being able to eat anything. I explained that we would all want to see her anyway and that her goal should be to live each day to the fullest - it’s all any of us can do.
Towards the end of the conversation, she confirmed, with a sly look on her face (who knew that she could give sly looks??), that I was feeling well. (Which I suppose is kind of obvious when one has just completed a 5km run). I confirmed that, yes, I was feeling very healthy and happy – all too aware of the two different realities that we were living.
As she drove away, I remember feeling this ache inside of myself as all of my inner voices yelled to be heard. They told me to savor the walk back home, to relish eating without feeling sick, to get her address so that I could send her something to let her know that I was thinking of her, to climb another mountain today just because I can. (I opted for the beach instead.) Slowly, I resumed my walk, my mind whirling so much that I couldn’t even restart my iPod.
I’ve been thinking about this all day.
What I’m feeling now, isn’t exactly guilt. To my knowledge, I’ve never actually been rude or in any way cold towards her. I think, at times, I was perplexed by her and perhaps uncomfortable with her shyness. But, I’m not feeling haunted by a thousand incidents of, “I should have treated her better.” It’s a little more subtle than that – a little more complicated.
My five minute conversation with her this morning threw open this door to her world that I’d never really paid attention to. It had been there, quietly shut and neglected in the hallway of my world. Occasionally I would go up to it and examine the doorknob or the paint, but then I’d walk away and do something else. But, behind that door profound and amazingly painful events were taking place. Events that have made this woman face the notion that she may very well die before the end of the year. This could be her last summer. That could have been our last conversation.
But, in anybody’s world, there are literally millions upon millions of doors, right? Doors to people, places, experiences and knowledge that could have a profound effect on that person’s life. It’s impossible to open all of these doors – in fact, I think that we drive ourselves crazy trying to find and organize all of these doors. Whether we like it or not, some are going to remain shut for our entire lives. To convince onself otherwise is dangerous – one then runs the risk of running up to every door, taking a peek, and running away before he or she can appreciate (or even recognize) what’s on the other side. This is to say that I don’t think that life is all about the number of doors that you open.
Still – still- the other side does exist. Today has helped me to remember that even if I can’t find the means to open the door and take an in-depth look, I need to do whatever I can to respect what is undoubtedly there. Because whatever is there, is deep, profound, mysterious, and most likely has an infinite number of parallels to whatever is happening behind my own door.
“We never cried for pain,
We’re superheroes.”
A real vacation, and nan too soon… August 12, 2009
Posted by Earthdragonette in Me Time.Tags: beach, Indian food, Japan, relaxing, running, summer
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See, get it? Nan? Because I ate Indian food today.
It’s a pun. “Nan” = “None”
I should probably have pointed this out earlier, but if you object to wordplay of any sort, then you will be better off directing your browser to alternate locations, such as The New York Times or MIT. Or, perhaps you could check out Wikipedia’s biography on Andre the Giant. He was awesome.
Today’s memory is very sweet and relatively concise (for once!). Simply put, it was the first day of a six day vacation away from my schools and it made me very happy.
Don’t get me wrong – I love my job. I love the cyclical nature of the school year, the comfort of the festivals, the hilarity of my students, the challenges of planning lessons, the intellectual playground of the Japanese language. I even enjoy the problems that come up in an international environment. Still, I tend to work 65 to 75 hour workweeks, and for the next six days I do not have to do anything related to teaching English. No newsletters, no organizing, no worksheets, no lesson plans, no award preparations, no research, and no prodding of lazy/angry/overly volatile animals students.
I love my job, but I love recharging, too.
So what did I do today?
I got up.
I had a no-stress breakfast with an emphasis on a banana/walnut smoothie (DELICIOUS, NO REALLY) and vegetable-tofu crepes.
I went to the beach for three hours.
I ran 5k.
I went out with a friend for Indian food.
The specific memory for today is the one that I’m going to take from this moment, right now. I’m sitting on my couch, feeling completely relaxed and at peace for the first time in months. (That’s to say, completely relaxed and at peace for longer than the ten minutes following some grand intellectual epiphany or the 15 minutes after a walk or run. I may just hold on to this current emotion for more than an hour!) My apartment smells like sunscreen and Indian curry. iTunes is playing Jimmy Buffet and Bob Marley.
And tomorrow I get to start all over again.
I’ve always said that winter was my favorite season (no bugs, has Christmas, has my birthday, also has PIE). But after today, I have to entertain the possibility that summer may have its good points as well.
*Oh, and before I forget!
I have things set up so that whenever I update, a new note is created on my Facebook profile; I know that some of you are reading my entries through those notes. I noticed today, though, that some of the formatting from the original blog doesn’t show up in the Facebook note, or it gets distorted. There also seems to be some issues with the spacing between my words. You’re certainly free to read these posts anywhere, but for the Full Effect, I recommend reading from the blog itself. At the very least, the blog has a confetti background!
“The weather is great, the beach is great, the food is great…”
Bikers love ice cream. August 11, 2009
Posted by Earthdragonette in Student Moments.Tags: bikers, elementary students, ice cream, Mary Sunshine, milk, pride, running, summer, table tennis
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Well, they do.
I have proof.
While I was running this evening, I passed by a small store that’s famous in this area for its selection of freshly baked goods and soft ice cream. I neglected to mention earlier that my village has a milk factory. We are known far and wide for our milk products, which include four flavors of ice cream, two varieties of yogurt, several kinds of pudding, and “natural cheese”. You can also get into a milk bath at the local bathhouse (something I have yet to try).
Anyway, as I approached the store, I saw this guy sitting on the front steps next to a motorcycle (A VERY COOL MOTORCYCLE). He was interesting – totally covered in tattoos and piercings, with bright orange hair and leather pants. He was also eating an ice cream cone, which struck me as extremely adorable. This not the kind of thing one normally sees in my neck of the woods, and so it was with equal fascination that we glanced at each other as I jogged past him.
Before getting to today’s memory, I would like to take a moment to remember one of the most soulful singers that ever came out of America: William Borsey, better known as Willy DeVille. He passed away on August 6th, but I live under a rock and so only became aware of it this evening as I was trying to find new songs to download from iTunes. If you think you don’t know who he is, just go back to The Princess Bride:
Rest in peace, Willy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, besides bikers with ice cream and dearly departed singers, what else can I take away from today?
After yesterday’s successful Venturing Out and Finding Students Episode, I opted to do the same thing today. After stopping by the sewing room to see how the flags were progressing (they look great!), I went to the gym to watch some of the sports teams practice. This is where we shall find today’s memory.
I mentioned in The Story So Far, Part 2 that Mary Sunshine is one of the best table tennis players in the prefecture. As it turns out, that is not entirely true. She is in fact one of the best table tennis players in Japan. So much so, that she will be attending the All Japan Junior High Table Tennis Tournament on August 23rd. It’s going to be in Kyushu (western Japan), and I believe that it’s a two day competition. I had the chance to talk to her about this yesterday. She’s on cloud nine – and rightly so. I can’t even begin to describe how hard she’s worked to get this opportunity (I wasn’t joking when I said that she’s perpetually exhausted). She deserves this chance to show everyone what she can do.
I knew that she would be training today, and that was my primary motivation for going to the gym. I had a couple of extra surprises when I got there, though, because not only were some of my elementary students there practicing with the middle school students (they’re all members of the town’s official table tennis club), but I saw one of my old students as well. She’s currently a second year in high school, and when she was in middle school, she was the best table tennis player in the prefecture. She was a third year when Mary Sunshine was a first year, and they had an intense (if friendly and respectful) rivalry. I don’t know if she ever went to the All Japan Tournament, but I do know that she beat Mary Sunshine in every major game that they ever played together. She’d come to the school today to help Mary Sunshine train, and I was happy to talk to her for a bit and to hear about what she’s been up to.
After talking to my elementary students and watching some of the practice games (if I may say, my students have skills), everything suddenly grew quiet. Obeying some mysterious signal that I certainly hadn’t picked up on, everyone quickly finished their games and sat down. Then, Mary Sunshine and her former rival took their places at the center table. I’d come to the gym hoping to see Mary Sunshine practice, but this was even better. I haven’t had many chances to see her play recently, and I knew that this match with her former rival would give me the opportunity to see how much she’s improved.
I don’t claim to know a lot about table tennis. I claim to know absolutely nothing about table tennis – except that it looks like regular tennis with smaller balls, and paddles are used instead of racquets. Also, there appears to be a table involved. Aside from those astute observations, I am for all intents and purposes, in the dark.
Still, my ignorance aside, I like to think that I can detect the signs of a true athlete when I see one, and Mary Sunshine is the real deal: graceful, quick, relentless, and totally focused. I don’t feel as though table tennis is just a sport for her; I believe that it’s a means of communication. Of course she plays to win, but I also think that she plays because she’s trying to express something. Her games are her stories, and today’s story was about how the student really did grow strong enough to surpass her teacher.
She won three out of four matches.
The matches were exciting, and very nerve-wracking. The entire gym sat with baited breath, waiting to see if Mary Sunshine would falter during the last set, or if her former rival would be able to pull out a win in the last seconds. The most vivid moment for me, though, and what I want to remember about today, was how I felt watching her play.
I don’t have any children yet – at least, I don’t have my own. So, I haven’t had that experience of seeing a person that I created strive against a challenge and succeed. I’ve been told that this is the ultimate feeling of wanting someone’s happiness more than you want your own.
Still, in my time here, I’ve been happy for my students. I’ve been excited when my third years have gotten into high school, or pleased when students have mastered difficult subject matter. We discussed in an earlier post about how I even love them. Today with Mary Sunshine, all I could think of when I was watching the game was, “You are so amazing. I’m so proud of you.”
It was just the craziest feeling of wanting her to win – for her sake. I wanted her to succeed because I know so much about what she’s gone through – both in her athletic life and her personal life. This is her time, and her moment. As she was winning, as she was gathering herself to execute the final plays that decided the game in her favor, her dreams were all that mattered to me. It was an odd moment – a humbling moment. It was a moment where I knew with certainty that there are things that happen in other people’s lives, and these things matter. They should matter to us. I believe that they must matter to us.
I hope that she does well at the tournament.
I hope that she keeps training, and that she keeps her eyes on her dream of going to the Olympics.
When she gets there, I’ll definitely be in the stands cheering for her and hoping for the best.
“You’re alive, oh you’re alive
The pride of creation.”
What a piece of work is a man… August 6, 2009
Posted by Earthdragonette in Lessons Learned.Tags: Hamlet, Japan, love, Macho Man, peace, running, The Savant, Two Terrific Teachers
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I once heard it said that Hamlet is one of the most difficult of Shakespeare’s plays to direct. It’s a play that has so many powerful and profound scenes, that it’s a challenge to link them all together so that the whole production is balanced. In fact, to avoid this problem, directors often choose to cut parts of the play so that the different scenes don’t compete with each other. I think that this quirk is one of the reasons that I love Hamlet as much as I do. Like the main character, the play is almost too intense; it pulls you in too many directions at once. To direct Hamlet – and direct it well – you have to be a sensitive and mature artist. I like that.
Today was sort of like Hamlet.
This isn’t to say that I woke up, had a conversation with my dead father’s ghost (he’s alive and well), pretended to go insane (the insanity was real enough), offended my former love interest (I did that on Monday), sent two former friends to die (that’s scheduled for next Wednesday), and then returned to my homeland for the purposes of fulfilling an oath and killing my uncle (not happening until next year).
No, today was like Hamlet because my day had four very profound parts to it that were unrelated to each other. Choosing just one part to be the memory that I want associated with this day is impossible. Tying all of the parts together and finding an overall theme is going to be a little tricky.
Not if I want to do it as a sensitive and mature artist, that is.
Briefly, the day breaks down like this:
~ I drove to work in the most amazing weather. The sky was silver, and the clouds wrapped around the mountains so thoroughly that it felt like I was floating miles above the earth. Mist was tangled up in tree branches, sliding over rocks in the river, and tumbling into the road. It was surreal, and during the part of my drive where all I could see were mountains, the river, and rice fields, I felt content.
~ Today is August 6th, and so it’s the anniversary of the day that the United States dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima. In the morning, my middle school had a student assembly to talk about the war. This is always a difficult day for me to be in Japan; I object to war and I take death very seriously.
Each year that I’ve been here on the 6th has been different. I actually came to Japan on August 6th of 2006. That day, however, I was more focused on my recent decision to move to Asia instead of on a war that took place over sixty years ago. In 2007, I went to the assembly that my other middle school had. We watched a video about atomic bomb injuries and listened to presentations about why we should all renounce war and aggression. Last year, I spent the entire day cooking lunch for the teachers at one of my elementary schools. That’s a special memory for me, not the least of which is because the sixth graders came down to the cooking room and kept me company for two hours. Today, I went to the student assembly and watched a presentation given by the school’s cultural committee. I found it interesting (and comforting) to see that they took the time to acknowledge Japan’s role as an aggressor during the conflict.
~ After the kids had been dismissed for the day, all of the teachers in my town got into groups and had an afternoon of fun. Some teachers played volleyball, some played tennis, some got together and played music, and so on. I joined a group that was cooking several summertime dishes that originated from this area. I got to work with one of the Two Terrific Teachers, and he regaled me with stories about working in a coffee shop when he was in college. I also had the opportunity to roll sushi by hand and was schooled on how to make decorative rice balls.
~ After I got back from work, I went for one of the Best. Runs. Ever. It had FINALLY stopped raining and the air was fresh and cool; the road was soft and really easy to run on. I saw a lot of people that I knew and felt very calm as I covered the kilometers. I also had leftover sushi waiting for me when I got home!
So, as you can see, there were many specific, profound, and powerful moments today.
And now, if it can be said that Blogging has some kind of 4th wall, I’m going to break it.
When I first started writing this post, I had it in my mind that I was going to write about my day’s events and highlight the peace element to show that it would be so *easy* for me to use peace as a theme to neatly tie the day together.
Then, I was planning to turn away from that and instead talk about how I wanted to remember the day because of conversations that I had with my students (specifically The Savant, Macho Man, and Mary Sunshine). We were so happy to see each other (it’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve really had a chance to talk), and everyone was in a good mood despite the somber tone of the assembly. The Savant and I got into an extended conversation about his deceased dog that went something like this:
Me: So, your dog that died two years ago…
The Savant: My gay dog.
Me: Yeah, him. So, did he have a boyfriend?
The Savant: No. There are no other gay dogs in our town.
Me: That’s very sad.
The Savant: It was very difficult for him.
Me: It sounds lonely. At least he had you!
The Savant: Yes, he did. But, he is in heaven now.
So, maybe there are gay dogs in heaven.
Macho Man: Gay MACHO Dogs!
(Take note, this conversation about The Savant’s homosexual canine companion has been ongoing for the last year. It never ceases to entertain, and has shown up in classroom examples and one mid-term exam.)
So, still breaking the 4th wall here (which I guess is to say that the 4th wall’s function is to preserve the illusion that I am thoughtfully leading you through this entry in some kind of predetermined fashion), I was going to point out how this conversation with my students was, actually, more poignant and meaningful to me than the above mentioned scenes or the tried-and-true theme of peace.
But, suddenly, I think I understand something important. I know what moment I want to direct your attention to, and the moment that I want to use to remember this day.
This morning, as I was walking back to the staff room after cleaning with the students, I turned back and just watched them. Some were standing in the hallway, some were going up the stairs, others were coming out of their classrooms, and a few were leaving the science room. In that moment I thought to myself, “I really do love them a lot.”
Hmm.
I don’t think that peace and love are necessarily the same thing; two nations can be at peace with each other but have very little love for each other. Love takes time, patience, communication, and understanding (amongst other things). I’ve always believed that my being here has been part of the peace process. I’ve believed that peace is a living, breathing force in my life. What I felt today, though, from my drive to work to my run in the evening, was something else. It might have been peaceful at times, but it wasn’t exactly peace.
It was an appreciation for Japan’s schizophrenic-but-usually-mind-numbingly-beautiful-weather. A feeling of protection, pride, and interest in my students. I marvelled at our laughter, at our ability to understand each other, and at our ability to miss each other. I felt respect for my co-workers and for their personal and cultural history. I embraced the chance to take time out at the end of the day and to welcome my neighbors home from work.
This may not be artistic or mature, but I think I can bring my day together now.
The Savant’s dog, despite all of his, er, difficulties, was lucky enough to live out his life with a family that cared about him. Even now, two years later, it’s obvious that The Savant still misses him; the dog really didn’t have to wait for heaven to be surrounded by love.
For me, I think the same is true. In so many ways I, too, have been blessed with love. Right here. Right now.
“Feel. That’s all you gotta do and it will heal you.”
